[ Editor's Note: Fitness author Jon Benson shared this letter with me and gave me permission to share it with you. ]
Everyone reading this newsletter desires to be more attractive
Let's just admit it, okay?
The struggle many of us face is dealing with the vanity of it all. This stems from our upbringing and perhaps phrases like...
"Beauty is only skin deep."
And you are probably a lot like me: concerned with being a good person as well as being an attractive person.
Sometimes we feel guilty about the latter. We think that because we are trying to become more physically attractive we are not as deep as those who focus only on "inner beauty."
Utter nonsense.
Look, I will be the first to admit that someone only focused on outward beauty is probably a shallow and foolish person.
But I could say the same for someone focused only on their inner beauty.
Allow me to plead the case:
"They are shallow in the sense they are missing out on a huge aspect of the human experience."
"They are foolish because, in all likelihood, they are killing themselves slowly with poor nutrition and a lack of exercise."
>>> Do you call that deep?
I do not.
You all know about Fit Over 40, and how the Role Models in my book all look super --
http://www.fitover40.com
But what you may not realize is that these Role Models are also super people -- inside and out.
I was careful when I made my selection of folks to profile in my book.
Very careful.
We have a politician focused on making a big difference in the lives of people. We have nine men and women involved in ministry. We have dozens of caring moms, dads and grandparents. We have guys and gals doing tons for charity.
Deep, good, and yes...attractive people. You can and should be both.
According to science, these attractive people are also pretty smart.
Here's why...
>>> The Evolution of Desire
David Buss wrote an interesting book called "The Evolution of Desire." In it, he covers the science behind why we find one another either attractive or unattractive sexually.
His conclusions are backed up by several articles published in "Ethology and Sociobiology".
Their findings are hardly surprising. Here is just a sample of the science behind attraction...
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Both Sexes Look For Youth
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While men tend to look for youthful characteristics in the opposite sex, women look for youthful physical and character traits.
Both sexes are more attracted to a small waist to hip ratio and proportionate body mass.
Both sexes -- not just men.
That means low bodyfat and toned muscles. That does not mean "bodybuilder" or "marathoner."
Women view these physical characteristics as more of a sign of character. The ability to provide and to protect. It is centuries-old programming.
Men are simply more visual, although some of that visual deals with procreation which, again, is eons-old DNA programming.
Either way, our desire to mate is genetically driven and maintained through physical
attributes.
>>> Women Love Shoulders
After the narrow waistline, women voted "broad shoulders" as the second most desirable quality in the male physique.
That is pretty cool for guys as shoulders are easy to build when you do it right.
My shoulder routine is simple:
: : Dumbbell Presses (palms in) for size;
: : Dumbbell Laterals or Cable Laterals for width
A few others here and there...like Arnold Presses. Rear Lateral Raises.
The good thing is it takes only a few minutes once a week to do my shoulder workout. Only a few sets each for most men. That is all you require to build nice shoulders.
Sometimes I do more if I want to really get the shoulders to grow. But that is overkill for most of you folks.
Cool, eh? Just doing a few sets once a week allowed me to built some broad shoulders. It can for you, too.
But without that narrow waistline you will not look as attractive to the opposite sex.
You will just look bulky.
The entire routine is important for developing your body as a whole and take advantage of the small waist/wide shoulder look.
Read more here --
http://www.fitover40.com
So, while the ladies may love a nice smile, a nice pair of shoulders goes a long way too.
Remember: these are sociobiological findings. In other words, the qualities that drive us at the genetic level to define what we call attractive.
>>> Men and Women: Leanness = Youth
A woman does not have to be "skinny" in order to be considered youthful. However, on average, a trim female sparks the same biological reaction in men as a chronologically young female.
It turns out that youth is just as much a factor of bodyfat and muscle tone as it is facial features and even wrinkles.
Same for the ladies. The all-important "waist to hip" measurement seems to trigger more than just our primal desires.
It affects our hormones...yep.
We get all worked up over the sight of a trim waistline and hips.
Both men and women.
Hmmm...
So, after all of this, is it any wonder we all desire to "burn bodyfat" or "get toned"?
The reasons may not be vain at all. They may in fact be driven by our most primal genetic desires.
So, the next time someone accuses you of being vain or shallow because you want to improve your body, you can tell them this:
"I follow the science of attraction."
After they look at you funny, you can show them this newsletter. ; )
Besides, since when is laziness and sloth valued as qualities of depth and substance? Since when is "chunky" considered more spiritual than lean?
It's kind of silly when you look at it that way.
If you want to see what others ages 40-80 have done, go here --
http://www.fitover40.com
When you combine the fitness lifestyle with a deep and genuine spirit, you really are living life to the fullest.
And the deepest.
Sincerely,
Jon Benson
Creator, Fit Over 40
P.S. A special "thank you" to the hundreds of
you who write kind testimonies about my book
and my newsletters.
I try to respond to everyone, but in case I miss
a few, I wanted you all to know that I am thrilled
for you and for your newfound lease on a
younger, more vibrant life!
Keep it up--
http://www.fitover40.com